Are you at your wit’s end in a high-conflict divorce?

| Feb 11, 2020 | divorce

Perhaps, you and your spouse argued often in the months leading up to your ultimate decision to divorce. When a relationship becomes contentious, it’s stressful for everyone involved. In fact, it would be understandable if you were to say that constant conflict was a leading factor in your decision to end your marriage in a Missouri court. While you might have hoped that you’d be able to settle things as swiftly as possible, if your spouse is looking for a fight, it might not be that easy.

A high-conflict divorce can be challenging to finalize. If you and your spouse disagree on important issues, such as child custody, property division or alimony, there’s no telling how long it might take to try to achieve a fair settlement. The emotional consequences of conflict can quickly take their toll as well. Reaching out for support can be a valuable coping skill.

The less custody exchanges, the better

You might not even like being in the same room as your ex, especially if you tend to wind up arguing when you see each other. To keep conflict to a minimum in divorce, it might be best to devise a co-parenting plan that does not include frequent exchanges of custody. It’s logical to assume that the more often you have to meet with your ex, the greater the likelihood might be that confrontation will arise.

Schedule co-parent communication time

The last thing you need is for your ex to show up unannounced and start an argument. You can try to keep conflict at bay by agreeing to adhere to a schedule to correspond on child-related matters. For instance, you and your ex can agree to speak by phone once a week at a certain time.

If you can’t even bear the thought of talking on the phone with your co-parent, you can agree to use email or other electronic means for correspondence. Of course, if an emergency arises, such as a child becoming ill or injured, you’ll want to agree to contact each other as needed.

Don’t involve children in adult issues

It’s difficult enough to process your own emotions in divorce. If you drag your kids into the disputes that exist between you and your ex, things are likely to get worse. Children typically cope best if their parents keep co-parent problems private. Avoid using your children as messengers or spies.

If your spouse is using your children for revenge, such as denying you access to them or trying to turn them against you, stress levels might soar. However, you have rights, and you can protect those rights as well as your children’s best interests. If necessary, you can seek a Missouri court’s intervention to help resolve a problem issue.