Relationship therapists in Missouri and elsewhere generally see two points of view on whether a quick break or a gradual one is best in a pending separation matter. There can be some obvious drawbacks of rushing a divorce situation in a time of great stress just to get it done and out of the way. When children are involved, that attitude will likely be harmful and uncaring.
Sometimes a couple must put aside their own needs to look at others, especially minor children. Where the couple is able to more deliberately and objectively approach all of the decisions made in a separation scenario the outcome will be far more supportive of the needs of the children. It is not an obvious remedy, but some people now view relationship counseling as useful for separating as well as for the normal purpose of reconciliation.
There is something to be said for going separate ways in as smooth a transition as possible. The various suggestions for supporting the well-being of the children that have been stated in previous articles and the family law literature applies to this situation. Thus, if therapeutic help is needed to transition into a more communicative relationship for the benefit of the children, then it should be considered by those who can afford the cost. There are benefits, however, to the clean break when it is appropriate to pursue.
The clean break accentuates going forward and re-adjusting to a whole new life. It does not cling to the past, and where there are no children or other binding factors, then the clean break may be the healthiest way in a divorce to make a strong and independent transition to the future. The clean break encourages the quick development of coping mechanisms, getting the grieving over and done with, and beginning to look at one's new set of preferences for an exciting future. As one begins to formulate the right way to go, a consultation with an experienced family law attorney in Missouri will add a another set of useful information to one's arsenal of confronting the process of divorce.